07 Jun 2019
The Newfangled Newsflash
By Rory and William
The 2019 Newfangled Newsflash, Newmea, New Caledonia.
This morning, somebody did something very newfangled. This somebody was Jeffrey Stonework, and he was the newest member of the Stonework family. They just called him Newbie Stonework. Jeffrey was also a very new newsman who built laneways. He wrote a newsworthy newsletter on the newsstand on News Avenew. Jeffrey had renewed a book about newts from the new News Avenew local library, but he had forgotten that the librarian had told him that it was not renewable.
Immediately, he returned the book about newts that was not renewable back to the new News Avenew local library. The librarian (who was also new) gave him a telling off as it was:
1. an extremely new newfangled book, and
2. the new librarian’s favourite book.
We interrupt this Newfangled Newsflash with some new news. Someone had been recording some things with a newsreel. This someone had caught two newcomers fighting near one of Jeffrey Stonework’s laneways. One of them had punched the other person, thanks to his sinewy muscles. We have him here now to talk with us.
“Hi, I’m Newy Newsome from Newtown, Newfangled Island. I have extremely new muscles, which helped me to punch that guy in self-defence,” he explains.
“Are you aware that you are going to the new newcomer jail?” asks Jeffrey (Newbie) Stonework.
“Yes I am definitely or otherwise they wouldn't have sent me this letter, ” says Newy Newsome. He indeed held aloft a new piece of paper.
The next new day Newy Newsome packed away his new punching equipment and went on his way to the newest new jail in Newmea, after being proven guilty in the new Newmea court.
“Well that’s all for today, but remember, we have new news every new day, on the New Newfangled Newsstand of Newmea. ”
By Jasmine & Maya
On March the 17th, I renewed a book. I read it under a pinewood tree in the laneway. In the story there was a newsflash about a newt. The story was very boring so I decided to get a newspaper from the newsagency. During the walk to the newsagency I saw a statue. I thought it was interesting but still a little boring. After only walking for 5 minutes, I arrived at the newsagency. While there, I met a newborn baby and joined newsgroup in a discussion about the newest news to go in the newspaper.
In the shop, I saw a stonework sculpture. I liked it so much that the man working in the newsagency let me keep it. It was more interesting than the statue that I had seen in the park in the park because the statue was only a man on a horse. The man who let me keep the sculpture was a newcomer to the agency.
He said, “It was a newsettler in the shop”. Then another newsman came out and said “Hello young customer. Have you got what you desired?”
“Yes, thank you, I have. This man helped me.”
“Oh…. I knew that”, said the newsman. “He is very trustworthy.”
I bounded home with my newest newsletter and stonework sculpture of a newish building in New Caledonia. The moment I leapt through the door mum said, “I had a newsletter from school”. It said I had been doing well in school work but in French I was a nuisance. After I read the newsletter mum exclaimed from upstairs, “Open the caneware I brought home.”
I turned on the news and there was a story about a break in and a stolen stonework sculpture and it looked just like the one I got for free .Then they showed a picture of the witness oh no I thought for a second it might be me. I know that face! It’s me! I had stolen a stonework sculpture but I thought it was for free.
The Newest Newspaper
By Keely & Maya
Breaking news!
A lost and lonely newt has gotten off track during a new moon night and is on the run! If seen, please report to the tall, handsome newsman, today or next week. He will be carrying a newborn lion cub. The person to report this friendless and absent newt will be on the front cover of the newest newspaper in New-Zealand, New-York or Papua-New-Guinea. The newbie in town is the one who lost the newt. He lives on 165 Newton Avenew, which is the neighbouring house to the majorly overweight laneway man’s screeching newborn Greater Bulldog Bat.
…(:Anyway let’s get onto our next story:)
There is a criminal on the run whose name is anonymous. The anonymous lady has been seen in a yellow striped top, a pair of brown or black sunnies and the newest, top of the line, red boots. The lady has robbed the newest store in Pinewoods Cove. All we know is that she stole the newish non renewable newsworthy newel in the mayor's house.
By Vienna
Down the laneway, the newspaper boy flung the newish newspaper onto the garden of 18 Cherry Tree Lane of the family home of five soon to be six! Apparently the newspaper was a newsbreaker but they didn’t need the news because they were moving to the Gold Coast, somewhere new. The Pinewood family had already packed every single item in boxes. The removalist truck came and loaded the non-new furniture and luggage into the newly designed moving truck. The family got into the car and drove off, excited about their new journey!
It’s already 9:00 pm and they were still waiting at the airport for their 8:30 pm flight! Ms Michelle Pinewood was getting extremely stressed and restless, and the baby was kicking furiously in her tummy. Mr Justin Pinewood is trying to calm Ms Pinewood down but she just started shouting and Mr Pinewood and he was getting very flustered. There were no seats left for Ms Pinewood to sit down. Finally, a family left and the Pinewoods could sit down. The youngest child, Lilly who was two and a half years old, sat down and grabbed her pillow and put her teddy under her arm. Instantly she fell into a deep sleep. Ms Pinewood wrapped a newly washed blanket around Lilly.
Destiny who is 14 years old, sat down next to Stacey, who has just turned 5, Stacey got up and sat on Destiny’s lap. Destiny put her arms around Stacey, She finally fell asleep 10 minutes after Lilly did. Then all of a sudden, out of the blue, there was a newest announcement on the speaker, it said: The Pinewoods family please come down: Jackson, Owen, Max, Kisa
The New News
By Manu & Owen
The new newcomer made a newsflash about someone doing stonework on the newspaper. The newsagency came to put the stonework on the news.
They said they were going to move the stonework to New Caledonia. But not just to the laneways, but to the pinewoods.
The stonework person was excited about taking it to New Caledonia in the pinewoods! His name was Newy. Newy said, ‘It would be a pleasure to take the stonework to New Caledonia and to be on the New News.’ However, they said they would bring the stonework after the New Year . The stonework tradesperson asked if it would be newsworthy.
The newsagency said that it would be way more interesting than the new laneway that was being newly built.
‘Woo hoo!’ shouted the newcomer that made the stonework. He made a speech about his stonework which was not that new anymore. He went on and on about how long it took him to make the beautiful stonework. At the end of his speech, which had seemed like a long story, everyone was pretty bored. After all, now it was not that new anymore.
Although it was not the best speech, people did talk about it a bit. ‘New Caledonia is a nice place to put stonework in,’ the stonework tradesperson thought.
Shortly after, the stone got shipped to New Caledonia. To find out more about this newfangled news, go to our new website and watch the new video about Newy’s magnificent stonework.